Saturday, February 20, 2010

Don't be a douche, CPAC!

     I could have chosen any one of the blazing douchebags who participate at the Conservative Political Action Conference (hence the communal title), but I'm choosing this one. Because he said some of the most ridiculous things, because he's got such potential to gain so much power in the near future, and because he's just a really smug little bastard.

It's Marco Rubio! He's a republican candidate for the United States Senate, and he gave the keynote speech at that wacky circle-jerk of a conference. He's a Catholic, a lawyer, and "the future of the GOP", according to many talking heads from that side of the fence. Furthermore, his keynote was a doozy: opening with (SHOCKER) an Obama/teleprompter joke I won't quote and some weather talk, here are some of my favorite parts:

"I am privileged to be a citizen of the single greatest society in all of human history. There's never been a nation like the United States, ever."
"our rights come from God, not from our government" (I love it when politicians say this, negating their entire careers)
"when was the last time that you heard news accounts about a boatload of American refugees arriving on the shores of another country?"
"the U.S. Senate already has one Arlen Specter too many." 
"Americans do want leaders that will come to Washington, D.C. and work together to get things done" (What? Nobody told you GOP runs on cooperation now?)
"Let's eliminate double taxation by abolishing the taxes on capital gains, on dividends, on interest...Let's significantly lower the corporate tax rates"
" greater risk to this country than the risk posed by radical Islamic terrorists" (not even this one?)
"we will punish their allies, like Iran" (this one got cheers, to the point he had to ask them to stop. I don't have a quip, that's fucking terrifying)

Like I said at the beginning, most of this stuff was pretty unanimous at that show. It's Rubio with the big long keynote, Rubio who overreached and said some extra-dumb shit, and Rubio for douchebag of the day, though. 

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